Gracepoint at UC Davis

This is from a UC Davis Wiki page and is written by "jonwoo"


https://daviswiki.org/Gracepoint_Davis_Church


Since it was on the internet, I hope it is OK that I share it here. The content is good, even though it was from three years ago.

2013-04-10 17:49:39  

I am a former member. I knew most of the reviewers who have posted here personally during my time there. I wholeheartedly agree with what Kevin Yu stated. There are many people that have been hurt by the practices of this church. I’m writing this because I was hurt for many years, both while I was a member and after I left. That part of my story is not unique to myself, many former members have similar experiences. I genuinely hope what I write can help anyone who is currently attending or is a former member or even thinking about going. Please note, that the other reviewers after Kevin’s post talk about how great the church is without directly addressing the many problems he brought up. They may be trying to act Christian and take the high road on a public internet forum. Rest assured, they will likely not discuss or try to address these issue in private either.

They may do some good things, especially to outsiders looking in. So maybe I shouldn’t just make a blanket statement like, don’t go to this church. Rather, I think this is the church for you if:

• You don’t believe in confidentiality. All the information you write on your reflection sheets are circulated and systematically shared in staff meetings. Keep in mind there is a lot of soft pressure to be as honest and forthcoming as you can on these. Anything you tell your leader gets reported back up the chain so the upper staff knows what you are “struggling with.” Former staff members have confirmed that they had “quotas” to meet in terms of how much they share about their ‘sheep.’ - You have too much time on your hands. Or if you’ve ever sat down and thought, you know, I should be spending every waking free moment of every day doing some kind of church activity. And I’d really like someone to be looking over my shoulder and get on my case if I don’t. - If you truly believe God wants you to be subservient to a church leadership structure, even at the cost of your own mental health. I’m not exaggerating, there are people who left this church that had to seek psychiatric care and medications. - If you’ve ever thought, “Choosing a spouse is hard. Wouldn’t it be easier if there was a committee of church leaders to pick my spouse for me? I’d like it to be a surprise as to who, when and where they decide, without regard to my opinion on who it is. I don’t care if we have any shared interests, personality traits, mutual attraction or compatability, what our families think of each other, etc. After I meet him/her, I’d like to go through an expedited dating process of about a month, and let the leadership make most of the major decisions in regards to when and how our wedding will go.”

Unless of course, the leadership overlooks or forgets about you and/or decide you are not “spiritually ready” to be married. Be ready to be single a long time. Cause you should never make a decision like when or who to date on your own. I can’t make this stuff up, I seriously believe this church on it’s way to starting a monastery.

• You are ready to sacrifice your career, education, grades and interests if they are perceived to come into conflict with serving the church’s’ interests. I quite literally almost failed out of school due to this church's practices and pressure to attend church activities. - If you think sleeping is for wussies. I got rebuked several times for sleeping too much. I didn’t even know that was possible- I thought when you are hungry, your body is saying you need food. When you are thirsty, your body is telling you to drink something. When you desire love, something like love must exist. But if you feel tired and sleepy, it’s cause you’re a selfish lazy bum that needs rebuking. These rebukes weren’t very consistent either. Later I was rebuked for not being enthusiastic enough at church activities, probably because I wasn’t sleeping enough. - You firmly believe that leaving a church or changing your opinion over time as you grow up is a Cardinal sin. Pay attention to how they talk about former members- most if not all of them were too prideful, too angry, too selfish, too *****. They don’t make it easy to leave, and once you do, it’s a full on character assassination blitz.

When I was a freshman, one of the staff told me, and I'm paraphrasing, "**** is a religion based on fear. Christianity is a religion based on love." Looking back, this seems ironic. When I was there, I remember being afraid a lot. Afraid of being rebuked, of being reported on to the leaders about something, about when or if I would be 'ready to date' in their eyes, if I would have to drop out of school to keep up with all the church activities. In conclusion, I’ve come to terms that in their minds, I will always be in the wrong, because I have challenged the infallible wisdom of the leadership of this church.


-jonwoo




There are some other good descriptions of practices that go on at UC Davis Gracepoint Fellowship on the webpage. Seems like a good resource for anyone who is considering going there, is currently going there and am feeling unease, or who is considering leaving, or has left.


Grace to you all.

Do you need help?

There have been several people asking for help in the comments. If you read through the posts and associated comments, you will find many emails of people offering to help. Please contact those people. I hate to be suspicious but typically, I never get a response when I reach out to those who need help and I'm left to wonder if someone is trying to find out who I am in real life.


This is not to discourage those of you who need to talk to someone. Please continue to reach out and get the help you need. Talk to peers who've left. Talk to leaders who've left. You need support in making any drastic life change and leaving Gracepoint at Berkeley, Davis, Hsinchu, Austin, Riverside, San Diego, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Irvine, Santa Barbara, or Seattle is a drastic life change if you were a "core member."

Community and Accountability

Another great post up on The Chief Sinner blog on community and accountability.

http://chiefsinner.org/2016/04/06/demystifying-church-community-and-accountability/

When I read that post, I am reminded of the amount of shame and guilty I experienced while at Berkland/Gracepoint. There were public and private rebuking sessions, public shaming for minor offenses, and so much guilt. So. Much. Guilt!

While I was there, I felt guilty about:

• not doing quiet time everyday
• forgetting someone's birthday
• forgetting to thank someone for something they did
• not wanting to become staff
• not going to prayer meeting
• not praying passionately for 1 hour +
• wanting to take care of my family or visit them during the holidays
• liking someone of the opposite sex (just having the feelings!!)
• when someone of the opposite sex seemed interested in me
• not repenting well enough
• being me
• not wanting to give someone a ride every Sunday. They lived in S.F. I lived in the East Bay. I did it anyway.
• not giving more money to Gracepoint
• getting reimbursed for valid church expenses
• not showing up to see Mary, John, Mark, and Grace off to ABCD
• not liking one of the members of my small group
• not liking someone in my class
• not having 10 people I was reaching out to
• etc.

What a drastic change compared to how I feel now. I feel little to no shame these days and guilty only when appropriate (when I've done something wrong).

Be free. It was for freedom that Christ set us free.

Good blog on church structure and authority

I recently started reading this blog called The Chief Sinner.

They have a post about the position of pastor at church and the use of honorific titles. You can find it here:

http://chiefsinner.org/2016/03/23/demystifying-church-the-pastors-calling-authority-and-our-use-of-honorific-titles/

Please read it. It's a good read.

If you are or were a part of Gracepoint Ministry, you are probably very familiar with ALL of the honorific titles that are or were used at that church. When I was a student, even the non Koreans used Oppa, Unni, Hyung, Noona, Jundosanim (JDSN - literal translation is evangelist) and Samonim (honorific title for a pastor's wife). At the time, I felt like it was a good thing to show honor to your elders by using these titles. But now I see it as potentially another way that the hierarchical and authoritarian structure of the church was reinforced.

I mean, it's a bit ridiculous that a white dude from the Midwest was calling an upperclassmen Hyung and Noona when he was not culturally Korean in any way, shape or form.

I realize it's a somewhat minor thing, but when I used to go there, I would have felt like a "rebel" if I had gone against their culture and did not call someone older than me Unni. I don't even call my biological siblings this! But I very easily conformed to this culture while at Berkland. Even now, I feel slightly uncomfortable when I write Kelly Kang instead of Kelly Samonim. And it's been over a decade since I left that church!

.

In light of Good Friday, let us all remember that nothing we do can earn or prove our salvation in Christ. It is a gift. Freely given to all.

It doesn't matter if you attend Gracepoint or another church or no church.
It doesn't matter if you do not have a desire to become staff, or explicitly don't want to become staff.
It doesn't matter if you do not want to move to some random city because Gracepoint decided that that's where the next church plant will be.
It doesn't matter if you love your spouse and are actually happily married.
It doesn't matter if you didn't do your quiet time every single day of the year.
It doesn't matter if you don't do what your leader says you should do.

These things do not make you a Christian. Nor more lovable to God, nor more worthy, nor more honorable. Do not believe the lies. You are enough, just as you are. God says so. You are worthy, just as you are. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly.

Rest.

God calls you to rest. It's a commandment. Go read it. Want to be obedient? Obey that.

Evidence of abuse

I know someone who is a counselor/therapist at Cal and she mentioned to me that many of the students that she serves seek therapy because of the abuse/trauma they experienced while attending Gracepoint Fellowship Church in Berkeley. Seems like the legalistic culture of that church is still going strong. She did not share details due to client/therapist confidentiality.

Are you contemplating leaving Gracepoint or one of its affiliated churches? Perhaps the Antioch Baptist Church in Boston? A recent commenter shared that Berkland Boston has changed their name to Antioch Baptist Church. If you have left or are thinking about leaving, or are currently experiencing emotional abuse at a Gracepoint Ministry church, please read the posts and comments on this blog and be encouraged!

My understanding is that the dysfunction of Gracepoint can be attributed to the founding Pastor and his wife, Rebekah Kim. The most visited post on this blog is the letter from Ed Kang to Rebekah Kim.

Great Article on Raw Story about Religious Trauma

Great Article on Raw Story about Religious Trauma. Sounds like Gracepoint Fellowship (formerly Berkland Baptist Church) to me!!!


http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/religious-trauma-syndrome-how-some-organized-religion-leads-to-mental-health-problems/

Those of you who are still suffering, please get help!

For all of you who have experienced the hardship of leaving Gracepoint (formerly Berkland) at any of it's elevent locations, you are not alone. You are not being a "bad Christian" by leaving that church. Many of us have left, or were kicked out, and are alive and well.

It's amazing how whenever I get together with the brothers or sisters who used to go to that church, we have so much to talk about and share. Recently I found out that one of the girls who were in my class was asked to leave the church upon graduation by the pastor's wife Kelly Kang. She basically told her, "Go experience the world and realize how much you need Jesus." I am appalled that someone who was entrusted to shepherd the sheep would mistreat her sheep this way.

Anyway, if you found my blog while wondering if Gracepoint church is a cult or not, please go ahead and read the many helpful blog posts. In my opinion, it's not technically a cult but it's doing a lot of damage to a lot of people. Yes, I also acknowledge that many people are getting to know Jesus through the church as well. Praise to God who draws all men to himself. 

New (ish) blog

I just did a google search and found this other blog about Gracepoint.

Just one post from back in 2010 but the list is a good one.

http://gracepointexposed.blogspot.com/

All other sites seem to be down

It seems like all the other blogs and websites, including Gracepoint is Dangerous, are down. I know some were taken down by the authors, and some seemed to be hacked. If any of the authors are reading this blog, kindly let us know why you decided to take down/no longer maintain your blog?

Anyway, if you are an ex Berklander or an ex Gracepoint attender, I encourage you to browse through the posts.

Gracepoint is Dangerous

Site is down for upgrade/redesign. Any new issues or questions about Gracepoint? Please comment below.