Did you know that we are to love others, as ourselves? I find it curious that the "as ourselves" part was hardly ever, if ever, the focus of any sermon or bible study during my more than six years experience at Gracepoint/Berkland.
Or any other traditionally evangelical church.
I was taught that self love was selfish. I didn't even know the term self care until I left. I was taught that I was a worthless sinner, not worthy of God's love, or any other kind of love as a matter of fact. The only correct opinion I could have of myself was that I was a piece of shit. (But of course I couldn't say that word since, you know, no cussing.)
I find it curious how conveniently the "as yourself" part was and is left out. But it makes sense given that it would be a huge obstacle to do church according to Gracepoint's model if everyone actually loved themselves.
The older I get, the more I understand that I cannot love others any other way. I can only love others as I love myself. I am not made to be able to have a double standard for myself and for others. Thus, I can love others only as myself. If I love myself based on my accomplishments, talents, abilities, service to church, level of closeness to God, or anything else, I will love others this way too. And if I love others based on these, then I will love myself this way too.
During these present times, I hope that you can find time and space to practice self love and self compassion. Today's an especially good day to practice radical self acceptance.
You are only human. You do not need to be perfect. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are already enough. God loves you just as you are. God wants you to love yourself, just as you are too. You are already accepted. You are very good. You are not a mistake.
Or any other traditionally evangelical church.
I was taught that self love was selfish. I didn't even know the term self care until I left. I was taught that I was a worthless sinner, not worthy of God's love, or any other kind of love as a matter of fact. The only correct opinion I could have of myself was that I was a piece of shit. (But of course I couldn't say that word since, you know, no cussing.)
I find it curious how conveniently the "as yourself" part was and is left out. But it makes sense given that it would be a huge obstacle to do church according to Gracepoint's model if everyone actually loved themselves.
The older I get, the more I understand that I cannot love others any other way. I can only love others as I love myself. I am not made to be able to have a double standard for myself and for others. Thus, I can love others only as myself. If I love myself based on my accomplishments, talents, abilities, service to church, level of closeness to God, or anything else, I will love others this way too. And if I love others based on these, then I will love myself this way too.
During these present times, I hope that you can find time and space to practice self love and self compassion. Today's an especially good day to practice radical self acceptance.
You are only human. You do not need to be perfect. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are already enough. God loves you just as you are. God wants you to love yourself, just as you are too. You are already accepted. You are very good. You are not a mistake.
Hi John, thank you for yet another great post! I attended Gracepoint from 2014-2016, and experienced much of what you described above---that loving yourself, being kind to yourself, or being upset when someone acts poorly towards you were vilified as "being selfish" or "feeling entitled."
ReplyDeleteThe leaders want to instill in your mind that self-love is bad, because this is how you can be guilted into complying with their demands. You are not allowed to say No, otherwise you are being selfish and failing to be a contributing member of the community.
Not thrilled about spending hours every weekend giving people rides? You are being selfish with your time and money. Thinking that someone was inconsiderate to call you at 4am to ask for a last-minute favor? You don't truly love or care about that person. Upset that someone cut in line at the gas station? You clearly struggle with feelings of entitlement and a "me-first" attitude.
Another favorite technique of Gracepoint Leaders to make members feel perpetually morally rotten and degenerate, is to harass people to death over their sins (whether those sins are real or rumored). There must always be something horribly wrong with you, otherwise they cannot claim moral superiority and expect you to submit to their leadership.
During my one-on-one meetings with my leader, they were VERY particular about the precise manner and style in which I shared details about my life. My leader constantly insisted that I was not truly repentant and contrite, because when confessing my sins, I did not describe them with sufficiently negative words.
One time, I admitted that I had behaved in a "somewhat selfish and arrogant manner towards my friend," and my leader responded quite aggressively, "No, you were VERY arrogant and VERY selfish." Another time, I confessed that I had gone 15mph over a speed limit and uttered the F-word while driving one day. My leader was very annoyed and said that, "Whenever you tell me these things, you always focus on how your ACTIONS were bad, and not that YOU are fundamentally bad. You always tell me that you committed sins A, B, and C... but you never talk about how Sins A, B, and C reveal just how morally bankrupt you are." My leader always insisted that I was not truly repentant, because I didn't describe my negative attributes and behaviors in strong enough words.
Sorry, went on a tangent there. The point is, the worse you are (or should I say the worse you are portrayed), the more morally superior and spiritually enlightened Gracepoint leaders feel.
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DeleteSadly, your leader was probably as much of a victim as you. This perpetual cycle of spiritual abuse can be interrupted with either therapy (unlikely for most victims) or education. I wonder what your leader would say if you approached him today with your testimony.
DeleteGod never says we are fundamentally bad. The first thing that is declared about us is that we are very good.
DeleteAnd I'm so sorry you experienced those things. That was very hurtful and not Good News at all.
DeleteHi everyone! My friends and I were part of Gracepoint Berkeley (classes of 2015 and 2017). We are heartbroken by the damage that Gracepoint has done to people whether they are believers in Christ or not. We are going to be collecting stories and then going public with them, as well as directing people to support groups for processing what happened. If you would like to tell your story or talk to us about other things we are doing to force Gracepoint to take responsibility, please fill out the form here: https://forms.gle/zD3VC1646QnJfuNT7
DeleteHi Anon at 10:40 PM. Thanks for your efforts. Can you share more details about how you are planning to go public with the stories?
DeleteHi John, can you email us at leavegracepoint@gmail.com? I will tell you who I am and then we can discuss the strategy.
DeleteI emailed you.
DeleteFormer Gracepoint-er here, I'm sorry, but I would have to totally disagree with this message. We are called to love and die to self just like Christ did. A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another (John 13:34). Hermeneutically, I'd argue this is the NEW commandment we obey, not "love yourself". We are called to deny ourselves and follow Him, not accept ourselves (Matthew 16:24, Luke 9:23). There's only one person worthy of your acceptance, and it's not yourself, it's Jesus.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's cause I still go to a "traditionally evangelical church", but we are indeed totally depraved sinners worthy of a holy God's wrath. We are not good, we were (past-tense) good, but we have sinned against a Holy God (Romans 3:23, Isaiah 64:6). The good news isn't that God saved you from your sin to help your self-esteem. The good news is that He saved you, a totally worthless and wretched sinner, from His holy and righteous judgement, and He made that same worthless sinner, you, His treasure. And that's why we rejoice!
That doesn't mean we don't take care of ourselves. In fact, not taking care of yourself IS selfish. Sometimes being "selfless" is actually the most selfish thing. I agree that Gracepoint does not focus enough on taking care of yourself. It's not a sin to take a vacation, rest, or take care of yourself (which Gracepoint might interpret as selfish). Most of these things are heart issues and Gracepoint tends to judge people's hearts, when they should not. Gracepoint tends to label everything as selfish and as a sin, when in reality, it's probably not. I also agree that Gracepoint tends to distort the gospel and uses fear or guilt to get people into obedience, rather than joyful obedience. I think that Gracepoint does not show enough grace, as people will make mistakes and are not perfect like you said, and we must love and forgive them, not make them feel worse for their sin than they already do. But I have to disagree with your message of self-love, self-acceptance, and people are "good".
This reminded me of something that I noticed at GP that never sat well with me. I remember people talking about how we can see that we are all born sinners because babies were being munipulative by crying to get attention. This was used to justify a "cry it out" type of parenting infants. I know there are a lot of opinions for and against this parenting approach but that's not what I was bothered by. It just seemed really odd to call infants manipulative for wanting their parent's attention. I can understand seeing sinful nature in toddlers when they start lieing and things like that but putting that type of thing on an infant didn't sit well.
ReplyDeleteMay 7th commenter here. Given the greater context of Luke 10:25-37, I'd argue that this was the commandment from the law (v.26), which we are no longer bound to. The point Jesus was trying to make here is that we've failed to love our neighbors as ourselves. John MacArthur does a good job expositing this passage:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXmKQ52ByUM
But this is the good news, the law has been fulfilled! Now all we need to do is love Christ. That is the only person we truly love. Not self, not others, not the world, but love Him and Him alone. The equation is no longer what you said. The equation is now:
Z = How much you love Christ
And that's it.
You don't need to practice self-love anymore, you are fully loved by Christ. And you will love others as a result of that, not because you loved yourself. You don't need to feel guilty for not "loving your neighbor" enough (Gracepoint). But you also don't need to feel empty, because you didn't "love yourself" enough (John's post). You'll fail at both. That is the joy of the gospel!!!
This post has it totally upside down. God doesn't love us cause we are "good". It's cause HE IS GOOD!
Dear May 7 poster, I wanted to thank you for pointing this out. This particular post didn't sit well with me but I couldn't bother to lay out my reasons for disagreeing with it bc that would have gotten long. It's true like John said that Gracepoint has a strong culture of not allowing ppl to have dignity and space, but I don't think as Christians we have to try and love ourselves. We get our dignity from God, not from trying to convince ourselves we're good and loveable. More often, we'll see we really aren't that lovable and constantly wrong others. But the great and relieving fact is that God will forgive us no matter how ugly our past is, and that love is what gives us the power to WANT to be better people and love others.
ReplyDelete+Yeah I remember when I was in Gracepoint ppl talked about the depravity of man using babies as an example and calling them "manipulative" and I was like ???? It was so jarring how everyone was following along with this. Babies cry because that's the only way they can communicate. And they can't help themselves. Sure they're also sinful because we all inherit original sin, but original sin isn't apparent purely by what we do. And at least from my understanding of the Bible, babies don't go to hell. (Gracepoint didn't think so, but that's because of their theology)
I think it's also worth noting though that the nuance and some theology of John's (the blogger) posts seem to differ from the ones he preserved back in 2010 written by older bloggers. That's natural since they're different people, but I did notice there was a difference...
I understand the challenge of my post. I myself resisted this lane of theology for many years, accustomed to and comfortable with thinking of myself as a worthless sinner only. I'm not interested in delving into a debate about this here and for those who are interested in that, there are many places where you can do so. I stand by my post. I think it's very biblical to see myself and all of creation as very good.
ReplyDeleteI just watched a documentary that Joshua Harris made about him rethinking some of his books. It was free on youtube and called "I Survived How I Kissed Dating Goodbye". Some of the ideas discussed in it reminded me a lot of the culture at GP and I was curious if anyone else had thoughts.
ReplyDelete- One of the ideas brought up is that sometimes rules and practices are elevated to the level of importance as scripture. At first this seemed dramatic to me but the more I thought about it, the more it resonated with my GP experience.
- Similarly, they talked about setting standards that are not in the Bible. This was spot on for my GP experience. A lot of the things done in the name of setting "guard rails" were setting standards beyond what the Bible gave. Like never having even a single drink of alcohol because it could lead to something worse. Having all of your internet usage monitored by accountability partners. There are many many more examples. Some of these decisions if made by an individual aren't problematic but when a church sets these standards for all members then it is an issue.
- Sometimes things are not official policies but the culture is that everyone adheres to it. This makes it difficult to go against and it is expected that everyone will go along.
- Once a standard is set, it is viewed positively when people keep rasing that standard. For example, a male and female should not be alone together in a car. Then it is viewed positive to raise that to males and females should always be in separate cars.
- Marriage being idolized.
- The documentary also had some people giving examples of ways that Joshua Harris's book influenced bizarre gender relations at churches. This is very clear at GP :)
Anyone have any thoughts?
Thanks for sharing, I’ll definitely check it out. I’m curious about your point on “marriage being idolized.” Can you elaborate on this? Do you mean that it is idolized by church members?
DeleteI'm surprised no one has called this out but GP has been exposing an absurd amount of their bullshit lately.
ReplyDelete(1) Pushing their staff to be active on social media after repeatedly criticizing it.
(2) Acting (and maybe some people do) like they care about BLM all of a sudden. My senior year during the start of BLM GP pretended it was none of their business and ignored it until now. It's almost like a sad attempt to ride a wave to look relevant with what's going on in the world. Wait, I thought they told us not to follow the world.
(3) Creating a narrative of how repentant they are for judging non Christians and other races and the need to show more grace. Great but somehow that judgement is not an issue addressed inside their church and how GP's theology is built on judging based on their standards. Consider how much you hear them judging other Christians all the time and how little grace they show for not conforming to their version of the Gospel.
(4) They suddenly care about the community? I thought they criticized churches that didn't go church planting and stuck around helping their community.
(5) They care about diversity all of a sudden? How about they stop the forced testimonies of kissing leader's asses and advertising how great course 101 is and stop forcing everyone to conform to some type of Korean culture.
#5 is dead on. Nearly every single person's testimony sounds the same. Leaders would request that prospective new members and people who wanted to be baptized submit their testimonies months in advance so that "testimonies can be reviewed for an accurate and complete understanding of the Gospel." But the parts of testimonies that leaders tell people to rewrite are seldom related to theological errors.
ReplyDeleteI've known leaders who rejected a testimony not because someone believed a false gospel, but because the leader thought this person's reasons for investigating Christianity in the first place were not convincing. There have also been leaders who told people to keep rewriting their testimonies because they were dissatisfied with how they answered open-ended questions (e.g. "Give an example of when you did X," or "Describe how you realized Y," or "How did you feel when Z?").
Um hello, you cannot change history! A testimony is a written account of someone's past. How can leaders try to rewrite what has already happened or insist that things didn't actually happen the way they did? How can leaders claim to know someone's life story better than the person themselves?
If anything you realize in many ways GP is a church built on by a lot of Pharisees who are in denial about their hypocrisy. They only care about their image and what agenda they can push to continue supporting how righteous they are to compensate for their sinfulness. Do they love the Lord? Maybe but too many at times, they love their law, culture, and image more than they love the Lord.
DeleteThis is so true based on my own experience there as well. What amazes me is how similar different peoples’ experiences can be, to such a high degree. It is an obvious sign that there is some degree of intentionality to it; otherwise this should not be such a recurring issue.
DeleteJust goes to show how much hubris and self-righteousness these leaders possess. It's also a very sneaky form of gaslighting to make the potential new member constantly question and doubt themselves. Invalidating statements such as "You don't really feel that way," or "You didn't really experience that" are common tactics used to make a person question their own sanity & brainwash them into believing that they have a completely distorted view of reality, and therefore must rely on the leader to shape their perspectives on everything
DeleteI agree. Right before I left, I was told, “Don’t believe the hype” basically saying I had an elevated opinion of myself. Then I was told to go and repent. I seriously questioned my sanity and had to talk to a childhood friend for perspective because I had lost my perspective at that point.
DeleteAnd as predicted like the fake hacks they are, instead of posting anything commemorating Juneteenth, they decide to push out their AYM and Vision. For all their talk about Acts 2:42-47 and wanting to be like the early church, I have yet to see them defend and serve the weak like the early church.
ReplyDeleteI would disagree with that statement. As bad of a rep GP has on hypocrisy, I think that not addressing juneteeth is an acceptable posiiton. There is a difference between the responsibility of the individual christian and the church. The goal of the church to teach about the message of Jesus Christ crucified and salvation. It is not to champion a political cause nor is it to champion the social issue of the day. If a church does, it runs the very real risk of politicizing the church and its core mission to focus on God and to teach others his ways. There is a very practical reasons for separation between church and state. This is a slippery slope anytime the church as an institution gets involved.
DeleteThis however does not mean one sweeps social issues under the rug. It is the responsibility of the individual believer to apply the values and principles of God in the world. It is a matter of conscience and support of juneteenth should be the responsibility of the Christian whom applies biblical principles in their worldview and is convinced to act because of it.
I second the above response. Gracepoint does NOT need to take a corporate position on this issue. I also think OPs criticism is a bit inaccurate. I am not with Gracepoint, but personally know staff at GP who are on the "pro-social justice" camp and are thinking of ways to serve these communities. I think taking action by trying to serve is WAY better than if GP posted some useless image on social media that doesn't help these communities at all.
DeleteI am personally against the social justice movement because 1) the church is letting the culture/world define justice, not the Bible/God and 2) some in the movement are making a major Galatians error, which is ironically legalism, and causing divisions by adding to the gospel. It essentially becomes faith + works (legalism) and breaks away from sola fide (faith alone). We shouldn't also be hypocrites when we criticize Gracepoint of legalism, but end up doing the same. The Judaizers in Galatia were legalistic by saying one must be circumcised (works) + have faith in order to be saved. If we're making this issue a prerequisite to being a Christian (doing justice + faith), we are making the same error as the Judaizers (and Gracepoint) by adding to the gospel of faith and we would be also hypocrites!
Christians are called to act justly and love the weak, but it's a personal responsibility, not a corporate one. Our personal/political views should not be quick to judge or cause division with those who might disagree. Especially since this issue is NOT a gospel/salvation issue.
If you're interested in hearing a different position on this issue:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD80gAfCxic&t=1s
I 100% support social justice and racial justice and believe it is completely aligned with what we are called into as Christians. The distinctions between individual and collective action is unnecessary. To not be political is to be political. God is always aligned with the poor, oppressed, and the marginalized.
DeleteI agree, reading a book called How to Be an Anti-Racist by Ibram Kendi. He says you can’t be neutral on racism. You are either a racist or an anti-racist. The church not addressing racial issues will just promote more racism indirectly e.g. if Gracepoint stayed insular and Asian, it would seem to be promoting racism rather than anti-racism. Not an expert on race, but this seems to make sense to me
DeleteGreat book. I recommend it for everyone.
DeleteJust thought it funny that Gracepoint now has ads social media. On facebook for example they have a sponsored ad for the group A2N (Acts 2 Network)
ReplyDeleteYeah I got chewed out badly for being on Facebook in the late 2000s. One of the only times a leader I loved gave me the Riot Act. I was being resistant to his desire for me to get off Facebook. I guess times have changed.
DeleteI'm sorry you got chewed out for that. That's the stupidest thing ever to be chewed out for and you did not deserve that.
DeleteThank you John! I appreciate it.
DeleteI am currently a Berkeley student and Gracepoint attendee, and have been fed up with the dating restrictions for some time to the point that I'm not sure Gracepoint is the right place for me.
ReplyDeleteOne question I had that is very important to my future is: how do the marriages actually work?
On a further note, do these couples actually love each other? Do they have a healthy sex life? Or does the husband stick his penis in his wife twice in his life for 2 minutes?
I am scared my entire life will be ruined if I stay here for much longer.
I'm sure each marriage is different so it's hard to give an answer to the questions above. I wonder what they'll say if you ask them these questions? Maybe their answer will help you decide if you want to stay or leave. I think if you do get married inside the church, it will become at least twice as hard to leave.
DeleteTo get an "official policy" answer, I would directly ask your leader or another staff. The actual culture can be pretty different though. People only date and marry within the church. Spouses don't show any pda in public. They also limit their interactions with each other at events where students are present. (To the point that students have known someone for months and had no idea they were married or who their spouse was). This is a little more relaxed in settings where only staff or post grad are present. Weddings are pretty cookie cutter. During dating, only the leaders and one peer are allowed to know that they are dating and who.Everyone else only finds out about the relationship after the couple is engaged. Couples at church plants are frequently sent back to Berkeley to work on their marriages. These are just a few things. I'm sure others can add more and I agree that each relationship may differ. I also agree that once you marry someone in the church, it is extremely unlikely that you will ever leave the church. Looking at people's schedules can also give hints to the marriage. When you are giving ALL of your time to the church, what time is left to invest in your relationship? Between jobs and ministry, it's common for staff to get home (or send students home) after 11pm daily (except once a week "family night"). If you aren't staff, there might be some more wiggle room on the dating policies but if you are staff, all control is given to your leaders and the church. You could go against them but that definitely would mean no longer being staff
DeleteMy experience with dating there was that I was not allowed to tell ANY peer (and mind you, "peer" means only the same gender. The opposite gender peer never existed). I was given some BS answer along the lines of "you'll cause them to StUmBlE when they hear you're dating" whatever that meant.
DeleteTo the comment two comments above this, are you certain that that "one peer" policy you mentioned is true today? If so, that is quite unsettling.
DeleteDuring my days, dating couples were not allowed to tell anyone that they were dating. I found out my peers were dating basically when they invited me to their wedding.
DeleteWas the reasoning for this policy ever explained?
DeleteWell any "policy" they have is always because "it'll cause your peers to stumble" or "it's sinful (when it's not actually sin)" or smth. And these are judgment calls so no one can ever argue against leaders since it's usually subjective and you can take either side but since there's a power dynamic, what the leader thinks is right usually decides what actually is right. (Talk about sounding like how the priests and Pharisees influenced Jewish society back in the day)
DeleteI vaguely recall something like, "If you end up not getting married, it can cause a lot of distractions/confusion/gossip/etc. so it's better to not tell anyone until you're sure you're getting married."
DeleteAre couples assigned by the leaders?
DeleteOr do people choose who they want to date. How awkward is it? If a guy likes a girl, do they have to ask the leaders for approval? And will the girl feel pressured into dating him?
0 pda and interaction is super weird.
How do they hide their dating so well? That must be horrible to live in secrecy. I'm wondering if the couples actually love each other.
One way they hide dating is not going on dates in the area around where GP people live or avoid places that are popular with GP people. After an engagement is announced people will share all these stories about how they almost got "caught" on a date by GP people. It's really bizarre. You aren't supposed to interact much with the person you are dating in front of other people in any way that could hint you are dating. You cant talk too much to them or be too nice each other. I knew people who found it fun to try to guess who was dating by being hypervigilant of how everyone interacts.
DeleteThe way it worked when I was there (circa 2010s) was you told your leader who you liked (Person A). Your leader would go to Person A's leader or the pastor and find out if Person A was available. If so, then you can date Person A. So not really assigned by the leaders per se and you had freedom to choose, but you did go through the leaders to find out if the person you were interested in was "available" for dating. And if the person you liked wasn't available, well, tough luck.
DeleteThe pressure to date came from the leaders essentially the day you graduated. Which was always strange to me, because in undergrad, you lived a celibate life. Then once you cross the threshold of graduation, you were now being slowly pressured to start dating? To me, that was always very strange.
That's different from when I was there. Back then, you were not allowed to date until your leader deemed you "spiritual enough", which definitely was not as soon as you graduated. But perhaps this is because I wasn't deemed spiritual enough, thus never was pressured to date. Ha!
DeleteWhat happens if somebody has a crush on the same person as their leader and they ask them for permission? Awkward...
DeleteDoes anyone here have anecdotes of people being kicked out for breaking dating protocol?
I know some people who were asked/told to leave the church because they wouldn't break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend during undergrad or even grad school times. I also know couples who were made to break up because they dated "secretly" without the blessing of their leaders.
DeleteI attended Gracepoint during the 2010s. During my undergrad, I had a long distance relationship with a Christian back in my hometown. My peers and family had known about the relationship but I didn't tell my leaders (admittedly my fault because I was afraid due to the rumors of the dating ban). After we broke up, I shared with my life group leader the experience. She ended up telling the pastor's wife (who I was not close with) who asked me to write a repentence letter, saying that I had sinned against her. In hindsight, the pastor's wife wasn't interested in the fact that I had dated but that she had not known. They lectured my peer sisters for not ratting me out and eventually, my closest peers and the staff would come visit me every day, telling me that I was unrepentant. I ended up leaving as a result - but to answer anon's question, you're not forced to leave but there will be some pressure to admit your Gracepoint-mandated wrongs, to be extremely open with your leaders even if you are not comfortable or close with them, and to expect your personal sharings to be shared with older staff without your consent or knowledge.
DeleteThat sounds horrible. I'm sorry they labeled you as "unrepentant" when you didn't really do anything wrong by choosing not to tell the pastor's wife about your relationship. Trust is earned, not obligated or due to a person because of their "leadership" status.
DeleteThat is indeed horrible, and thank you for sharing. This type of thing is sadly not out of the norm based on my experience there; one of the most aggravating aspects of the GP culture for me was how sensitive information shared by students would be freely circulated among leaders, as if the leaders were entitled to know everything about the students’ lives. It makes me wonder just how much they talked behind my back without my knowledge.
DeleteI'm the commenter who said the one peer thing. My experience at a church plant was that one peer or roommate would be told about the relationship to be an "accountability person" to make sure you weren't staying out too late on dates or something like that. I'm not sure if it is for sure gp wide thing but definitely was at one of the plants. Could also vary by leader maybe?
ReplyDeleteOne thing I've always wanted to share but never got the courage until now... I remember that whenever people left, everyone would always view them negatively and would think "wow, is this person even Christian? How dare they leave!" Then came the time where I left and I got the same statements said towards me. And this was coming from people that I considered to be friends for life. We had served together, shared many secrets with each other, etc. Yet here I was, being questioned for my faith, because I dared to stray from the righteous path of GP.
ReplyDeleteAnd I thought being a Christian meant a PERSONAL relationship with God? Not a relationship that was deemed worthy by someone else...
I have seen and experienced similar things during my time there as well, and it is definitely not right. But one thing to keep in mind is that many of these people who view people like you in this way simply don't know any better; they truly believe that being Christian necessarily means living how GP people live rather than living out the Bible. The most important thing is to be confident in your own faith and to not let these types of incidents cause you to doubt yourself. I hope you were able to recover from this experience of leaving; I know it can be very painful and even traumatic based on my own experiences.
Deletehttps://youtu.be/lK_b-aMLa9g
ReplyDeleteAnyone else who went to berkland gracepoint get a chill down their spine when they watched this ?
hi, i'm a teen who was born and raised in GP. also after writing this, i realized it’s pretty long, so bear with me.
ReplyDeleteone of my best friends, who I grew up with in the Davis church plant, stopped coming to our church last year, along with her family. her dad had some issues with his leaders and the way the church was run, so he decided to leave while they were in Virginia serving in the church plant there.
now, i'll be honest; i was realllly shocked when i first heard that she was leaving GP. none of my close friends had ever moved churches before, so it was kind of a taboo for me. i was afraid we wouldn't be friends anymore, because since we lived in different cities the only time we could really see each other for church events. and yes, i'll admit it, i did judge her dad for making that decision. i didn't understand his reasons, and was under the impression that while our church was not perfect, it was the best and Godliest church, so if he left he must have some issues with God.
interestingly enough, i got actually got a lot closer to my friend once she left and joined a different church, and i got to call her a lot and got a feel for where she was spiritually.
I can definitely say that her faith became a lot stronger during that period of her life. it was really hard for her to adjust to a new youth group, since she had been at the same church her whole life, and the environment was really different. she wasn't very close to her leaders or friends in that youth group, and had trouble opening up at first.
but, like i said, my friend and i kept in touch, and i got to witness her taking initiative in her own relationship with God: reading scripture when it wasn't required of her, praying, trying to sort out her own bitter and confused feelings toward God, and reaching out to the students in her youth group. i saw how she really enjoyed her church's more free and relaxed way of relationships and leadership, and how she was able to grow so much on her own. and when i got to visit her last month, i had the opportunity to go to her church and talk to her dad about his reasons for leaving. i really think that just taking the effort to see things the way they did really helped me to dispel my judgement on him, even if i didn't agree with all of his values. the church they found and are going to right now is the one that best helps them pursue their relationship with God, and provides opportunities to serve Him, so i think that's enough for me.
all this to say; there are a lot of things that i love about gracepoint and can really value about it here, and there are also quite a lot of things that i think can and should be improved. one thing that we really need to work on is to stop judging and pushing away people who leave our church because they don't agree with it, and focus on loving them and keeping them in our lives because we are ultimately tied together by the gospel. that should be much more important than our quarrels and views on things that aren’t salvation.
So if you’re here because you were hurt by gracepoint, i’m really sorry. I hope that you were able to have a strong and lasting relationship with Jesus after you left, and i hope you’ll be able to forgive my church for not being perfect. God bless all of you
Thank you.
DeleteI'm happy that the next generation of GP is thinking about this and I'm glad to hear that you and your friend are still well.