Gentleness around the holidays

Dear Readers,

The holidays can be a time of even-more-than-usual grief and sadness for some of us. There are many unrecognized expectations from within and without that make it impossible for us to simply be. Expectations can come in the following forms:

• preparing elaborate meals
• making something delicious
• hosting
• being with family
• not being with family
• having meals with family
• having a good time
• enjoying everyone's company
• being generous
• being grateful
• acting cheerful and excited (when you're not)
• being nice to people, who are not nice to us
• celebrating

Whatever we do or not do, I hope we can all be gentle with ourselves and start to shed some of these expectations that are more burdensome than life-giving. Perhaps we can use the holidays as an opportunity to finally start learning to say no. Start with something small like asking for that drink to be extra hot and sending it back when it's not. Say no to making two stops all the way across town on the same day. Say no to chipping in on an expensive gift. It will all work out.

During my Berkland days, I felt pressure to keep my holiday time with my family short so that I could spend time with my "real" family. I would give free rides to folks from Berkeley to LA and pick them up and drop them off all over Los Angeles and Orange County. It didn't occur to me that I could say no. Or that doesn't work for me. Saying no was very dangerous in that culture as it could be easily labeled as selfish, ungrateful, unspiritual, unchristian, disobedient, lazy, etc...

Give yourself permission to rest this season. You have already done enough. You are fully accepted just as you are. Jesus never healed someone based on their qualifications. He healed everyone who asked. And even some who didn't want to get healed, he healed. And he didn't say, I'm such an amazing loving God, I healed you even when you didn't deserve it. No. He said, your faith has healed you. He gave the credit to those who were healed. God's presence is never contingent on our deservedness. You are already accepted. You are already home.

Asian American Podcast with Ken Fong about the Agape Fellowship Cult

Ken Fong, retired senior pastor of Evergreen Baptist, has a podcast called Asian America: The Ken Fong Podcast.

I listened to episode 191 and 192 recently and was struck by how similar Agape Fellowship sounded like Gracepoint! There are eerie similarities. Have a listen.

http://asianamericapodcast.com/?podcasts=follow-me-the-agape-fellowship-cult-part-1

http://asianamericapodcast.com/?podcasts=follow-me-the-agape-fellowship-cult-part-2

Much kudos to Ken Fong whom I had the pleasure of meeting recently. I am grateful for his leadership in our community!

History of Gracepoint Ministries, Berkland Baptist Church, Antioch Baptist Church, and affiliated churches and ministries like Koinonia, ABSK, A2F, Kairos, etc. (Part 3)

See Part 1 and Part 2 in the blog archives.

The period of 1995-2005 was one of growth and multiplication for Berkland Baptist Church (BBC). It was also a period of growing dissatisfaction and division among the leaders in their feelings toward Rebekah Kim and her leadership of BBC.

Becky Kim was intimately involved in many details of running all the BBC churches. She appointed the leaders of the new churches and made reassignments. The top leaders during this time included:

• Ed Kang and Kelly Kang at BBC Berkeley, the largest.
• YB Im and Sue Im led the San Jose/Silicon Valley branch and then started BBC LA in 2003, which is now called Life Baptist Church in West LA. I believe his name is Daniel now. See side note below.
• Chris Pak and Sally Pak served at BBC Boston. Stared one of the churches. Anyone know which one? Currently pastors Bridgeway Church in Palo Alto.
• Andy Pak started/served at BBC Irvine. Not sure where he is now.
• Peter Lee and Eunice Lee started BBC New York and BBC LA (?), started missions/churches in Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, and Moscow. Also started BBC Washington DC in 20002, renamed Worthy Life Baptist Church and is affiliated with Antioch Baptist Church ("West Coast Retreat" held together with Philadelphia Mission Baptist Church. Philadelphia Mission Baptist Church self proclaims as a church plant of Antioch Baptist Church.)

(Interesting side note: Many Berklanders (yes, that's what they were called) were encouraged to change their names from Korean names to more Americanized/Biblical names around the late 1990's. There are at least seven persons currently on staff at Gracepoint who have changed their names. This shows the type of control that the culture and leaders had over the congregation. I am not saying that they were coerced but it's worth noting.)

There were BBC wide gatherings of the pastors not infrequently. Leadership retreats/meetings were days long.

I just re-read "The Letter" that Ed Kang wrote to Becky Kim. It is dated August 22, 2005. I am not going to post the letter (do not ask me for it) but some excerpts can be found in the blog archives. According to the letter, there were pastors' meetings at Boston, Daegu (Korea) and Irvine. There was growing concern about Rebekah Kim's behavior, harsh rebuking and shaming of her disciples in a public manner, and overall lack of humility and accountability. Andy Lee's affair is mentioned, along with many other incidents. Ed Kang says he tried his best to give her feedback but that she rationalized her behaviors and never repented.

It's clear that Ed Kang had had enough. In The Letter, he states his intention to vacate the Alcatraz building as soon as possible but to stay in the area and "minister to those who will follow my leadership apart from BBC." Most readers will know that Berkland Baptist Church split after this. This article for Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary Alumni published in the Fall of 2009 identifies all 15 as Berkland churches but according to this blog, the split was effective as of January 1, 2006. Some churches decided to stay affiliated with each other but many went their own way. BBC Boston changed it's name to Antioch Baptist Church in 2011 according their website. Many other churches changed their names too.

Thus, Gracepoint was born. And the organization's tentacles are spreading like wildfire to college towns all over the United States. Is this a sign that the church is being used by God to expand God's Kingdom? Or is it a sign of the military like control and power that the leaders have over their sheep? Is it OK to hurt and discard people when they don't serve your purpose as long as you believe that the purpose aligns with the Great Commission? What does it say about a church when all the staff are home grown (quite incestuous actually) and no one from the "outside" ever obtains a position of influence?

As flawed as my current church is, I am grateful that I get to experience a growing freedom in my understanding of God and in my relationship with the God of the universe. I don't spend most of my days at church events. My church doesn't tell me where to live or who to live with or who to marry. I am encouraged to love God and love others as myself without feeling like I have to be tired all the time to prove how much I love them.

There can be no love without freedom. Jesus never forced anyone to do anything they didn't want to do. He is standing at the door and knocking. He asks to be invited in. It's always been an invitation. Guilt and shame may work for a while, but they can never free us from ourselves.

If you've been hurt by Berkland or Gracepoint, I pray for a growing tenderness and a complete spiritual and emotional healing. God never wastes pain.

History of Gracepoint Ministries, Berkland Baptist Church, Antioch Baptist Church, and affiliated churches and ministries like Koinonia, ABSK, A2F, Kairos, etc. (Part 2)

See part 1 here.

BBC Berkeley's daily operations were directed by Ed Kang and Kelly Kang once Becky and Paul Kim started BBC Boston. Both churches referred to themselves as Berkland during this time. Somewhere around 1995 or 1996, Berkland bought a big warehouse in San Leandro and the Berkeley church started having Sunday service and other activities at this location. They still used the Alcatraz building too, since it was closer to campus and useful for smaller gatherings like prayer meetings and such.

The ministries that got started or were present during this time at Berkeley include:

• Joyland children/youth ministry
• College ministry (biggest by far)
• ImpACT which started out as an outreach summer camp and mentoring program for youth in Oakland schools
• Young Adult ministry
• International Student Ministry

The college ministry was getting quite large by this time (1995). My estimate would be around 200-250 students all together. It was getting increasingly hard to find a venue on campus that could fit everyone. Thus, it was decided to split the group into three separate "zones." They were arbitrarily named Zone A, B, and C and these zones started meeting separately on Friday nights at the Berkeley Campus. The main event that college students were invited to regularly were Friday night gatherings and to make it more manageable and to increase potential for future growth, three separate groups were created. I believe this was the precursor to what is now Koinonia, Praxis, A2F, etc.

Side note that is important: KBSK was the original name of the college ministry at the Berkeley Campus in the 1980's. It stood for Korean Baptist Student Koinonia. This got changed to ABSK, or Asian Baptist Student Koinonia. When BBC Boston was planted, they also called their college ministry ABSK. I did a quick google search just now and it looks they kept this ministry name and it's now at 18 different campuses.

An important event happened around this time. At one of the college ministry outings by Zones to the Northern California mountains, a college ministry "staff" member named William Lee died in a tragic accident. He was swimming in a cold lake after a hike and passed away due to cramps that inhibited him to swim. Some of the college students were also swimming and tried to save him. Everyone came back from the outing abruptly and met at the San Leandro building where they were told of this tragic news. This event catalyzed the focus in missions in Tashkent Uzbekistan and they named something in William Lee's honor. William Lee was held up as an example of sacrificial love and the college students were all commissioned to live up to his example and stand in his space that was now left vacant.

The Korean speaking Berkland church also used the San Leandro building and sometime after the William Lee tragedy, there was a scandal in the Korean speaking church. This church was pastored by Becky's brother, Pastor Andy Lee. An affair occurred between Pastor Andy Lee and one of the Korean congregation members. Not much detail was shared but this event was important as the Korean speaking ministry ended up taking ownership/usership of the San Leandro building. Berkland Berkeley resumed meeting at Willard Middle School. (There was also a short stint of Sunday service held at Thousand Oaks Baptist Church in Berkeley.) I believe Becky's brother, Pastor Andy Lee ended up moving to Boston shortly after. Here is a useful article about what happened and a seemingly reliable account of what happened to the church in the San Leandro location on Merced Street.

After BBC Boston started, more churches got started in various places, typically near a major college campus. Here are the ones that got started when Berkland was still under one umbrella. This was the general order with the year if known.

• San Jose/Silicon Valley (1993?)
• Los Angeles (1994)
• Tashkent, Uzbekistan
• Seoul, Korea
• Seattle
• Davis
• New York

The pattern was that a church got started almost every year. A team of people would be chosen, I'm not sure how, to go and start these churches. Sometimes, the team members would make sense, like someone got a post doc position somewhere or a job or something but other times, it would not make any sense. The congregation was just told that this is the church we are planting and these are the people who are going. I felt that many did not like their new "assignment." Also, church leaders were switched around from time to time for no transparent reason. Folks would serve at a church plant for 1-3 years and then abruptly be moved back to Berkeley or moved to another BBC location.

The church also started sending missionaries to Seoul and Tashkent Uzbekistan, more so to the latter. Short term and some longer term.

All this time, Becky was revered and spoke at many retreats at Berkland Berkeley as a special guest. She directed large mission trips during the summer, with over 100 students from the various Berkland churches (mostly Berkeley and Boston since those were the two biggest). She would lead Bible studies and give sermons that were 2-3 hours in length. She would openly rebuke some leaders during her Bible studies and they seemed honored to be "loved" by her in this way. Ed and Kelly Kang and most of the leaders spoke of her highly and looked up to her, almost as one who could do no wrong. She lived in Boston with Paul Kim and their two children but she would fly to the Bay Area quite often and also flew to Korea and Tashkent to help plant churches and direct the ministries starting there.

To be continued in Part 3. (Corrections and additions are welcome. Please comment.)
April 23, 2019: Andy Lee is Becky's brother and his full name has been added.
July 23, 2019: Slight correction in the original name of the college ministry per OlderNWiser comment. (Thanks Older N Wiser!)

History of Gracepoint Ministries, Berkland Baptist Church, Antioch Baptist Church, and affiliated churches and ministries like Koinonia, ABSK, A2F, Kairos, etc. (Part 1)

Here is a brief history of how Gracepoint Ministries got started.

In 1981, Rebekah Kim (Becky) and Paul Kim moved from Southern California to Berkeley to start Berkland Baptist Church (BBC). The church started with five members (all family) and I heard that it was slow going at first. Paul would print 50 bulletins faithfully every Sunday, with Becky scolding him at the waste of paper. During one of the earlier years, Ed Kang and Kelly Kang started attending the church as regular members. I am not sure if they were still students or recent graduates when they first started attending but Ed Kang received his law degree from Boalt and practiced for a couple or few years before quitting to attend seminary and become a pastor at the church. Kelly Kang worked as an engineer. My understanding is that they started attending together, as a couple. During the early years, many others (who would later go on to start other churches) also started coming to the church. The church grew in number steadily. Main attendees were Korean American students at UC Berkeley as Becky and Paul intentionally sought out this group. There was a Korean speaking church that got started sometime later, with Becky's brother as the main pastor. (This becomes important later.)

They met in a building on Alcatraz Ave on the border of Berkeley and Oakland, hence the name Berkland. I faintly recall that the building was either donated/on loan/on lease at a below the market rate from either the Southern Baptist Church denomination or some other church network. The building was used for Sunday service, bible studies, prayer meetings, and many other church activities until the congregation became too large to fit into the sanctuary for Sunday service. The building has since been demolished (within the past 5 years I think?) and there are now apartments/condos there instead. The church started using Willard Middle School's auditorium/cafeteria for Sunday gatherings.

Becky Kim and Paul Kim attended Berendo Street Baptist Church before starting BBC, although it is unclear if Berendo approved/sponsored the BBC plant or not. I have also been told that Becky Kim has roots in UBF (University Bible Fellowship) which seems to be widely recognized as having cult like tendencies, or even an actual cult. (Fun fact: Berendo's founding member is Esther Kim (Ahn Yi Sook) author of "If I Perish" in English and numerous other Korean books.)

Berkland Baptist Church East (later referred to as BBC Boston, and currently under the name Antioch Baptist Church) was planted in 1991 by Becky and Paul Kim. The story I was told was that she was planning to send a planting team to Boston, but as she was walking around Harvard on a scoping trip, she felt convicted to start the church herself, instead of sending her disciples. According to the Antioch Baptist Church website, BBC Boston was renamed Antioch Baptist Church in March, 2011.

BBC Boston and BBC Berkeley continued to have very strong ties, and indeed functioned almost like one church. I am almost certain that they were financially tied. They would do mission trips and retreats together and traded staff and members. Becky regularly came to Berkeley as a guest speaker at retreats. She led missions trips and directed future planning for the church.

After BBC Boston was planted and established, more churches got planted in other college towns including LA, New York, and San Jose. A church got started in Seoul, Korea as well as in Tashkent, Uzbekistan.

To be continued.

(Corrections and additions welcome. Please comment.)

(typo West to East corrected on 2/6/2019)

More Hidden Yelp Reviews of Gracepoint Berkeley

A few commenters have pointed out that Gracepoint has changed and are not like this anymore. This being the stuff that are described on this blog.




Here is a Yelp Review (that is hidden and not tallied into their final score) that is from October 2018 from  "Christain" that sounds exactly like the Berkland I attended decades ago.

My experience at Gracepoint has been spiritually abusive. Please, please avoid this church as much as you can. Their teaching is unbiblical; the extreme emphasis and focus on sin is unhealthy. 

Their practice of rebuke seems to me out of the context of Scripture, as leaders assert their power, authority and dominance on younger members.

Let's be clear, rebuking sessions at Gracepoint are not fun. In fact they are down-right humiliating and induce a lot of guilt-driven repentance. And, to be fair, if you're being rebuked, there is a fair chance that you did do something wrong... or not (e.g. - this post). But does this type of rebuking do more harm than good? I say it is extremely damaging! It is the reason why many people who leave feel so traumatized.

I'm not going to get into the correct, or Biblical way to rebuke, for that material is abundant. But let's talk about the culture of "getting rocked"  Gracepoint. I'm not sure who started calling getting rebuked, "rocked," but it really turns something negative into something of a badge of honor. Again, it is often a horrible, humiliating ordeal. You sit there, being yelled at, belittled, guilt being heaved upon you, sometimes getting tag-teamed by two or three leaders. The "leaders" force you to confess to the point where you better start crying and feeling contrite. I have no doubt that leaders often agonize over what to do or say when contemplating a rebuke. But simply put, the ends do not justify the means.

Looking back, it is very disturbing to realize that I have seen many, soon after getting rebuked, smugly proclaim that they "got rocked". Why? After all, there was a lot of yelling, most likely some crying, and maybe some forced fervent and desperate prayer. To put it very simply, in the spiritual economy of the Gracepoint ecosystem, getting rocked is like getting audited and passing. Yes, finally, what you did caught up to you, it got addressed by the leaders, and if you repent, you have a small stamp of approval. Enough stamps and certifications and you will be qualified to move on up the ranks. To be fair though, some people just need to get corrected more often, because frankly, they just screw up a lot. However, my opinion is that there is too much guilt-driven manipulation and fearmongering, and not enough careful correction. Also, I've even seen leaders refer to how they got rocked by Pastor Ed or Kelly with a smug smile. Not always, but I've seen it.

You see, this behavior is modeled for other church members and it starts to become apparent that unless you get rebuked, the leaders must not care about you, or think of you much. Very silly, I know, but I know this is true because people have confided in me that they feel this way. I'm not making this up. Of course, they are not trying to get rebuked on purpose (who wants that?), but there is a really unhealthy element of the culture that I believe is one of the root causes of the spiritual abuse at Gracepoint. Just like a victim of domestic abuse, you tolerate more and more emotional damage, and begin to rationalize, because in the end they supposedly "love you." In reality, the abuser needs to control and manipulate you. If the abuser fails to do that, they rationalize by saying, "they don't love me and I guess I never loved them." At this church, it is the same, because if you do not respond to rebuke, you are spiritually desolate and they cannot shepherd or love you. For fledgling believers, it is very hard to know the right thing to do or how to respond, especially if you are a young impressionable college kid.

This is how you move hundreds of young people to mobilize quickly, efficiently, and without much complaint or deviance. Believe me, I would love to say everything is done out of a passion for Christ, but it is often not, not by most. The irony is, that on numerous occasions, I've heard a rebuke about not doing things out of a love for God and others, but the result is that people act because they do not want to get rebuked again. It's a vicious cycle.

Please, do not get sucked into this cult. They are excellent at outreaching to newcomers--it is insane. The experience I have had at this church has led me further away from God, and I really hope no one will experience what I underwent.

I remember all too clearly the day that my entire class got rebuked because one class member was found to be secretly dating another member of the church. I had no idea that this person was dating until the rebuking session over and I asked someone what was that all about. Kelly Kang/Ed Kang accused all of us of using the church for personal gain (marriage). Everyone was crying. I remember being very sleepy because this happened very late at night. Traumatizing and the message was clear. We control your dating life, you need to tell your leaders everything, you will be shamed in front of your class if you don't obey what we say. Needless to say, they were forced to break up. They both ended up leaving the church, one a few years after that and one many many years later.

Thank you to all the brave souls who left reviews on Yelp using their genuine profiles. I encourage you to continue to do so as it seems like profiles with one reviews often get "hidden." Thank you "Christain" and I'm sorry your review is hidden.

Are there any former Gracepoint members currently living in or around Riverside?

Looks like lots of people and families are still hurting from their experiences with Gracepoint. A commenter is looking for ex Gracepoint Riverside attendees. Please comment below if you are open to helping them out.




edited to add: Especially if you still live in the area.
title edited to ask for those living in the area.