You don't have to have sex with your spouse if you don't want to

Dear Gracepoint/Acts 2 wives, this one is for you.

It's quite common in evangelicalism for there to be some slight pressure on the wives to "obey their husbands" including letting them have sex with you when you don't really want to. There is the subtle messages from the pulpit, ok, maybe not so subtle, that your husband is the head and that you are under his spiritual authority. There may be some urging from your leader to just give in and have sex with your husband even if he's been a dick to you and didn't care for you as Christ cares for the church. He's been out every day this week, leaving you to care for the house and the kids and carry the entire mental load. Of course ministry comes first so you should be grateful that you have such a God honoring husband who cares about doing ministry and devotes so much of his time to the church.

But he hasn't said one kind thing to you. He doesn't even acknowledge you when he comes and goes. And since the church monitors his online activities and doesn't want him to masturbate, he comes to you to fill his sexual needs.

You are not an object.

You are a whole person.

You do not have to have sex with him if you don't want to.

You certainly do not need to have sex with him because your leader told you to.

You do not need to just lay there for a few minutes to create marital harmony. 

This is NOT what Christ calls you to do. Don't let your leader tell you otherwise.

.

Why do I write such a crass post? Because I actually know that this happens. Maybe not in all marriages, or even most marriages, but I KNOW this happens.

Marital rape is real.

You are not a receptacle.

Tell him to take care of himself and confess his sins to his leader.